


so this is the aftermath

by macerrs



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 20:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macerrs/pseuds/macerrs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ROADTRIP FIC!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> work in progress. title from tricky's "aftermath."

Finn sat in the chip shop alone.

Chop had stopped by a bit ago on his way to see Izzy.

“D’ya think she’ll like this, Finn?”

Finn pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Chop, mate, we always eat here.”

He shook his head, looking uncharacteristically nervous. “Dunno. Maybe I should ask the cook to make ‘em proper special?”

So Chop ran to the counter and told the cook to Make them chips real special like, alright? Apparently all that meant was some stale chocolate biscuits thrown in the bag in with the chips.

But Chop grabbed the bag of food and barrelled out of the shop, yelling out to Finn as he left, “Pub tomorrow!”

-

The shop emptied out after the lunch rush, but Finn stayed put at the table in the middle of the room. He leaned back in his chair, lifting the seat up, with his pen in his mouth, thinking. He’d already put the Stone Roses’ “She Bangs the Drums” on this mixtape, so he really couldn’t add “This is the One” too. Anyways, “This is the One” was a bit too on-point to put on a mixtape to give to Rae. Too obvious. She’d probably laugh at how fucking sentimental he was. He couldn’t help it, though. The first mixtape he’d made her after The Night, he had almost put Pulp’s “Something Changed” for all 12 tracks (both A and B sides of his cassette), but he had only just managed to resist.

But it was fucking difficult. He wanted to play Rae all the terrible love songs from the radio because they didn’t seem so awful when he thought about singing them to her. Like, he wanted to imagine her face when he sang maybe, today’s gonna be the day you save me to her, while she lay on his bed, smiling at him in that way she did, all open and glad, with her eyes fixed on him and he’d look at her while playing and --- Fuckin’ Christ. Finn closed his eyes and Rae’s face popped up, like always.

Then the waitress pushed by his table too roughly and Finn’s chair dropped down with a thud, throwing his pen in the air.

He scrabbled around the floor to pick it up.

“You’ve been here for a bit.” The waitress said, intensely peering at him, looking irritated.

He took it as a hint.

-

His scooter had gotten broken the other day - some arsehole ran into her (scooter’s name was Sally, yeah?) outside the pub and left her with a broken seat and twisted wheel. So now Finn made the long trek back home, but he didn’t mind it too much. He walked without thinking, focused on what else he should add to the mixtape, maybe that one Blur song that was decent (“The Universal”) and that rocky PJ Harvey song Rae played for him a few days ago (“To Bring You My Love”). He didn’t even realize he had walked towards Rae’s house until he looked up and noticed a familiar bench across from a bus stop. They’d sat there one night, kissing in the dark, because the street lamp wasn’t working on that part of the street and somehow being there seemed safer than kissing in Rae’s room, with her mum constantly accidentally opening the door without knocking.

Finn grinned to himself at the memory of Rae looking appalled and shouting at her mum, “Get out! Do I fuckin’ barge in on you and Karim? For fuck’s sake, Mum!”

But Rae’s mum put her hands up in mock surrender and said, “Alright, alright, I’ll give you your privacy.” She gave them both a knowing wink on her way out and shut the door.

Rae burrowed her head in Finn’s neck. “She’s so embarrassing!”

Finn let his fingertips touch the ends of Rae’s hair. “Nah, she’s alright. She only cares.”

Rae looked at him and said, “I know it. But let’s get out here for a bit, yeah?”

They ended up on the bench. Not even Rae’s odd neighbour from across the street could see them.

Finn looked at the bench for a tic and then stuck the unfinished tracklisting into the back pocket of his jeans and walked to Rae’s door.

-

“Finn! What a pleasant surprise!” Rae’s mum stood at the threshold. “Come on in, sweetheart,” she said to him, pulling him inside by the arm.

He stood near the door, shuffling a bit on his feet as she yelled out from the bottom of the stairs, “Rae! Rachel Earl! You’ve got a guest!” and at that last part, she smiled at him again. He smiled back. He didn’t mind Rae’s mum. In fact, he thought he liked her quite a bit. She was funny, in the specific way that your girlfriend’s mum could be funny.

“Rae!” she shouted again and then they heard Rae yell back, “Al-right, I heard you!”

She sped down the stairs and nearly ran into Finn. “Finn.” She said his name like she had been expecting him and he grinned at her and she gave him a wide smile back. They stood there, staring at each other like fools, until Rae’s mum said, “Alright, no messing about, Rae. I’m talking to you, are you listening?” Rae waved her hand as she began walking back upstairs and said, “Yeah, yeah, please don’t miss your program on penguins on my account.”

Finn bounded up the stairs behind her and dropped himself on her bed, leaning his head back to touch the wall behind him.

Rae looked at him. “Are you here to sleep or what?”

“What d’ya mean?” He said his words with a smile in his mouth. “I’m just resting my aching head, Rae. C’mere.”

“Don’t be cheeky,” she said and threw a pillow at him.

“Oi!”

But she came and sat next to him, leaning back to pair up with him, shoulder to shoulder. He turned to look at her. “Rae?”

“Is it alright that I’m over?”

She looked at him. “‘Course.”

He nodded and stared down at his hands for a few seconds, noticed how dirty they looked all covered in ink. Then he said, “How good do ya think that program is?”

Rae cocked her head and looked at him quizzically. “Do you wanna watch it?”

“Nah, just wondering if your mum would come up while it’s on.” He laughed softly.

She laughed and leaned into him. “I think it’s a very very very interesting program, Finn.”

“Yeah?” They were so close, lips almost touching but not quite.

“Yeah,” and then Rae leaned in and closed the gap. Every single time they kissed, it was like discovering new bits of themselves in each other. Like when Rae first let Finn put his tongue in her mouth, Finn got instantly hard because, fuck. It was too much, too quick. He’d kissed girls before but not like Rae. None like Rae. So nowadays they kissed slowly, deeper kisses but sometimes small quick ones, because otherwise it’d go too fast. They couldn’t have sex in Rae’s bedroom while Rae’s mum and Karim were downstairs watching a BBC program on fucking penguins.

But they’d quickly learned of other things. Like how Finn could drag his fingers up Rae’s legs and let his hand rest on the center of her and how Rae could grip him there and make his legs feel like jelly if she didn’t do more.

They did all those things until they were tired and spent and clammy from keeping most of their clothes on throughout. Finn lay on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and imagining the stars above his head instead of white nothing. Rae got up and changed the record from Mazzy Star to Tricky and Finn suddenly wished he had a spliff to share with her. He scooted over and Rae slid next to him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then suddenly it really didn’t matter. He let his hand find Rae’s and she rested her head on shoulder and somehow they fell asleep like that, his legs draped over hers, intertwined and easy.

Rae’s mum must have fallen asleep on the downstairs’ couch with Karim because when Finn woke up, he was still in Rae’s room at 4:27 AM. “Shit,” he said, untangling himself from Rae. He tapped her on the shoulder. “Rae.” No response. “Rae.” Nothing. He whispered in her ear, “Rae,” as he traced out on her arm, R. A. E. At that, she opened her eyes and said, “Finn.”

“I’ve got to go. Should I jump from the window or sneak out the door, d’ya think?”

Rae blinked a few times to adjust to the dark. “Why are you still here?”

“Cheers, Rae. I’m gonna leave out the front door, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She rubbed one of her eyes and then stared at Finn as he got up from the bed to put his trainers on, finally comprehending. “You’re still here.”

“I’m leavin’.” He kissed her cheek. “See you tomorrow, Rachel Earl.” He grinned at her and she could see the whites of his teeth gleaming in the dark.

“Don’t do anything stupid when you walk out, Finn, like run into the fucking door on your way out.”

“That happened once, alright?”

“Mmm.”

There was a pause and then - “The Cure or The Smiths?”

“What?” she asked, startled.

“Which one?”

“Finn, leave, my mum will murder you and then you won’t ever get to come over.”

“Your mum’s asleep. Answer the question. Please?” She could barely hear him, he was speaking so softly but she could see his lips move as he spoke.

She moved towards him and let her head rest in the hollow of his neck. His lips pressed against her collarbone. She spoke into his shirt. “You cheeky bastard.The Smiths, of course.”

“Good answer.” She could feel, rather than see, him smile and he kissed her cheek. Then left her quietly, walking out of her room and down the stairs and through the door, so quietly, like one of those tiny birds Karim kept in the yard, the ones that flitted around like delicate things.

Rae rested her head on her pillow and looked up at the ceiling. If she shut her eyes, she could see Finn’s teeth, like fucking stars in a dark sky.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> work in progress. forgot to mention in the last chapter that everything has been beta'd by the lovely jane (slightly on tumblr) - all mistakes are mine.

They met up the next day at the pub. Rae already had a pint in her hand, talking to Archie in the corner of their regular table when Finn walked in. Archie gave him a wide grin and said, as Finn pulled the chair out to sit next to him and across from Rae, “Alright then?”

Finn nodded at Archie and said, “Yeah, alright, mate. You?”

Rae rolled her eyes. “Fascinating conversation, you two.” 

Finn’s foot met Rae’s under the table and he gave it a tap. She cocked her head to look at him and he leaned back in his chair, staring right back at her. She scrunched her face and stuck her tongue out at him and the image was so surprising that he burst out laughing. Archie shook his head in amusement at both of them and said to Finn, “Lemme get you a pint.” He pushed his chair back and headed to the bar. 

Finn turned his head slightly to watch Archie go, then pulled out a cigarette from his front jacket pocket and began feeling his other pockets for his light. He still looked all bleary-eyed, slowly feeling one pocket, then another, then his back pockets, and then started again in his jacket. Rae watched him as he dug his fingers into each pocket with her lips upturned in a tiny smile. “You idiot,” Rae finally said, sliding his lighter across the table. 

He looked up at her. “You’ve had it this whole time, then?”

“It was on my sidetable and Mum flipped out when she came round to wake me up.” 

Finn grimaced as he flicked the lighter open. “Sorry.” 

“S’alright,” Rae said, shrugging her shoulders. “C’mere and kiss me before Archie gets back, though.” 

He grinned at her as he leaned in, covering the expanse of the table in 3 seconds. It was a quick kiss, neither of them was a fan of snogging in front of anyone else except Finn’s guitar or Rae’s cassette player, but when they separated, Finn rest his hand with Rae’s in the middle of the table. She intertwined her fingers and there they sat, together. 

Then Archie bumped into the table and spilled a bit of the pint too and they separated for a moment - Archie ran back to the bar to grab napkins to dab on the mess, Rae went to the toilet to wash her hands, sticky with beer, and when no one was looking, Finn dragged his tongue over the knuckles of his hand, tasting beer with the salt of his skin. 

-

“Hey, Rae-Rae.” 

They were on Finn’s bed, listening to his dad’s old psychedelic shit. On now was King Crimson, their first album, a fuckin’ mess of a thing, but good for laying side-by-side in bed with someone and letting the music roll over you both like a wave in an ocean they’d never seen before.

Rae leaned her head towards him but her eyes were closed. “Mm?”

Finn’s knees knocked against hers and he stretched his legs out, letting them rest lightly over hers.

“Wish we could get outta Lincolnshire for a bit.”

She opened her eyes to look at him. The moment turned into an easy but a long silence, lasting from the middle of “Moonchild” to the beginning of “The Court of the Crimson King” (which is fuckin’ long, long enough to forget whether he’d accidentally said, Let’s shag on my bedroom floor because the bed creaks and my dad would know or I love you I love you I love you Iloveyou or) -- but then she said, 

“Well. Why don’t we?”

“Don’t we what?”

“Get out of Lincolnshire.”

“Sally’s broke, Rae.” He sounded woeful. She snorted. 

“Borrow your dad’s car. You used it for Knebworth. Why not for a weekend?”

He looked at her for a beat and then - “Would you come with me?”

Rae rest her head back on his pillow, her hair spread out. “You think I’d let you go without me?” He grinned as her as she continued, “We’d have to be back by Tuesday, though. Got an appointment with Kester.”

He let his fingertips touch the edges of Rae’s hair, softly. “Of course.”

They sat in silence again, except for unearthly guitar noises playing in the background. 

Then Finn said, in a low voice, “When should go then?”

Rae caught Finn’s hand in her own, which had been running through her hair (a habit of his; he said he liked the way her hair felt around his hands, heavy and dark, catching on the calluses on his fingertips). 

“Tomorrow.” 

-

Convincing Rae’s mum was a fuckin’ task. His dad was easy. 

“You’re goin’ with Rae?”

He nodded. 

“She’s a good girl.” Finn dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans, waiting for the rest of the sentence. His father unexpectedly tossed him the car keys, almost smacking Finn in the face, who only just managed to catch them with one hand. Reflexes like a bloody cat, Rae told him once, when she was annoyed at him for arguing about the merits of 3D over Daddy G, so annoyed that she threw his Massive Attack cassette at his head and he caught it like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“So...it’s alright?” He asked hesitantly, feeling the sharp edges of the keys with his thumb. 

His dad nodded quietly and turned around - headed back towards the kitchen to finish cooking dinner (beans and mash – again). Finn grinned to himself - positively beaming at Bertha, their old grey cat, sitting on the settee, who was staring at him venomously. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said, rubbing her head. He was too deliriously happy to notice the angry claw marks on his hand. 

Finn bounded up the stairs to the hallway phone and rang Rae. 

“I’ve got the car,” he said, out of breath. 

Rae could hear his smile over the phone and wanted to laugh, but let out a half-laugh, half-exasperated sigh. “My mum is being fuckin’ daft. C’mere and smile at her a bit, she likes your face more than mine.”

“Doubt it. You’re prettier than me.” He said it matter-of-factly, like it was an undisputed fact, proven by science and Beatles’ lyrics and exams and God and the fucking Queen herself. 

Rae blushed, then coughed to hide her embarrassment, and then laughed when she realized Finn couldn’t see her face over the phone.

“See you in a few,” she said, laughter still caught in her throat, and dropped the phone with a click.


End file.
